the Day they told Us to Stop Thinking

Year of the Suspicious Package

like the pockfaced teenager who has yet to venture beyond his unscrambled porn, october surprises came early this year. there are so many of them now we've lost count. one at the port, one at the federal building, another near the courthouse, seven planted all along wilshire. usually they end up to be nothing more than leftover vagrant droppings, a trail of sandwich crusts scattered among banana peels and whatever else comedians use as a prop. when will the constituents get a chance to breathe, to peruse their trusty voting guides (postage paid by Sacramento), to exercise that freedom our Decider's always hollering about? when will he put down that goddamn megaphone and let the hardhats get a word in edgewise?

of course the MSM calls these packages suspicious minutes before they deem them hoaxes -- but long enough for commuters and dock workers and overtime parents to have agonized over the quickest side streets to their kids. and so it goes with this administration's through-the-looking-glass doublespeak. "9/11" as its affectionately referred to (and who WOULDN'T want their Day of Infamy to be named after an emergency phone call?) was in the end an overt command to obey the color-coded nuances of our every darkest fear, plumes of pulverized WTC steel clouding our reason, the gloom of ash-laden street corners shrinking into almost no memory. it was not just the PNAC blank check we've all come to know and loathe, but even more sinister in the events of 2001 is its indisputable absoluteness; there is no argument against pandora's box. one either heeds history's omen or one opens her flaps and pays the price of civilization.

so blow your whistles and keep us running scared msnbcnnbcbs pant, pant, don't stop panting you network news monkeys about how we are 45 days and counting until those all-important midterm elections where diebold cranks out another squeaker ("how DID this country become so polarized??") and we all cheer hooray for democracy and democrats who will allegedly save the day because i dont know i guess they too have the letters D-E-M-O- in their party affiliation and that can't be all bad right? they wouldn't possibly change horses in midstream of this grand experiment we call the American Spelling Bee and finish those letters off with a N would they? seriously it's nothing but a coincidence that the pentagon shares its shape, symbol and topography with the Mark of the Beast -- the same sorta plum bad luck that has plagued the current administration literally from Hour One all the way up to the present day. and so fuck it if we've been on yellow or red or orange or whatever color screams danger the loudest alert, who cares? steel skyscraper collapse, providence flight 77, anthrax, shoe bombs, duct tape, bird flu, short-selling, florida, ohio, new orleans, dollar, euro, dick, rummy, condi, y'know, like, whatever.

pay no attention voters to the suspicious box near your neighborhood post office or downstairs in the lobby or outside your apartment window, don't give that tick tick tick tick tick tick another thought just turn up the volume on your kick-ass 80-inch plasma directTV hit fast forward and skip past the ads for Tide and life insurance because the mailman should be coming soon an unmarked box tucked under yet another fake publishers clearinghouse check and with it the chance if only for the brief blur of light between work and sleep to dream of something altogether less random.